Monday, December 13, 2010

What I learned from watching Soaps

Contrary to popular belief I'm not one of those stay at home mom's who lays around on the couch watching Soaps all day.  Really I don't know any of those kind of stay at home moms but I've been told repeatedly (by people who don't take care of their own children) this must be what it's like to stay at home all day.

This past week I became the clich√©.  We didn't get out of the house much cause Bubby was sick.  I spent almost 2 whole days just laying on the couch with him...which is not like him or me!  Since he was sick he could care less what we watched so I started moving through all the Ellen shows I had recorded.  Everyday I DVR Ellen and Oprah and I've been so busy lately that I was about 3 weeks behind.  It's pretty easy to get through a couple of Oprah shows cause I can usually tell pretty quickly if I want to watch her show or not.  Hit info and see she is going to interview some guy in prison who killed a bunch of people and I can delete it and move on to the next one.  The Ellen show is different.  Her show isn't all about what guest she has on.  Her funny stuff could happen at any time.

See what I just never know what she is going to do that is funny.  At the end of every Ellen show I get about 3 minutes of the beginning of Days of Our Lives.  I've never watched Days.  Back in high school and college I did watch All My Children, One Life to Live and General Hospital...but that has been a LONG time ago.  I kinda got away from them cause this was back before DVR.  I was lucky to have a TV in college and a VCR was just unheard of!  Needless to say I got out of the Soap habit.

Sidenote:  I was in the video store the other day and was trying to find a movie to buy.  The clerk mentioned I could maybe find it on and then went on to explain to me what this website was. I told her I knew what it was and had bought and sold on there before.  She then went on to tell me how she sold all her textbooks on there.  I told her that was a great idea and wished I could have done that.    It was then that I realized I was in college BEFORE the internet...or World Wide Web as it was called then...and I decided not to mention that to her. I was saying I watched almost 3 weeks worth of Days...3 minutes at a time this week and this is what I have figured out:

Never marry an extremely good looking guy with a foreign accent.  It never turns out well.

But if you do and then it falls apart and he takes your kids away from you don't worry...another handsome guy will come along and make it all better.

I've also found out one can live in a coffin buried alive for MONTHS!  This lady has been in this tomb that is rigged with video screen forever but of course, her hair and make-up are perfect.

I don't know how she got in there or where she is going to the bathroom....I'm pretty worried about her.  She seems pretty calm about it though.  I must have missed some episodes but all of a sudden she is out of the tomb and another woman is in there.  This is woman has big hair and looks pretty good too.

Speaking of good hair....I've discovered even while in prison one can have good hair.

This is has been such a learning experience this week.  It's also been a VERY boring week and I can't wait to get back to normal...whatever that is.


Dawn said...

this is your best post EVER!

Cindy said...

Oh, my gosh this made me laugh so hard. Excellent post! But you forgot one...don't trash talk your husband's family, because you will probably be married to one of them someday. LOL

Anonymous said...

That Ellen clip is hysterical! I LOVE her!!

mamia (me and mine in Alabama) said...

You are so funny, you should write for someone like Ellen. I was laughing so much reading this that my husband came in my craft room to see what was so funny. I needed some humor this morning, thanks!